As those of you that keep in more or less constant contact with me will probably have realized, my hair has gotten quite long recently. Despite what you may have thought the reason for this was, I would like to inform you all in no uncertain terms that the sole reason for it is the fact that I HATE haircuts. Hate them with the fire of a thousand suns. This is not, as you might suppose, because I have any kind of aversion to sitting in a chair while someone comes at me repeatedly with sharp implements. No, my aversion to haircuts stems from the fact that in all my years of going to get my hair cut, I can count on 3 fingers the number of times I have left the barbershop satisfied with the cut. This is because of one simple truth that while perhaps not extremely earth shattering, is nevertheless a fact. Barbers/Hair-Stylists/Whatever-you-call-the-folks-with-the-clippers have some kind of innate need to ignore whatever you tell them. I don't know if this is because the majority of Barbers/Hair-Stylists/Whatever-you-call-the-folks-with-the-clippers are somewhat lacking in the ability to communicate in English, or simply that they feel the altruistic desire to save what they believe to be the inept, from the fate of having to endure the haircut they want. Whatever the reason, I have been a victim of this unfortunate truth for most of my life.
Today, I decided that I was fed up with my hair. Spring is coming and it was time to give in and go get it cut. So I took some time on my lunch break and dropped by the local barbershop where I sat in line for a while before finally being set in a chair, where I explained to the woman who would be cutting my hair exactly what I wanted. I was very specific, and despite her accent, her English seemed good. She nodded and asked questions to ensure her understanding, and then competely disregarded what I told her.
I am dreadfully near-sighted, which means that the entire time I am having my hair cut, I have to remove my glasses. I wonder if perhaps this is part of the problem. Since I cannot tell until it is done if it is what I want or not, I am often stuck with whatever I am given. Today was such a case.
So I would like to say to all Barbers/Hair Stylists/Whatever-you-call-the-folks-with-the-clippers, that I for one would be most appreciative if you would resist the impulse to ignore my instructions because you believe you have a "better way." I am the one that has to live with the cut you've given me once I have left your establishment, and I am the one that lives with my head ALL THE TIME. I have been having my hair cut for quite some time now and I know how my own hair works. I know what looks right and what looks awful. So I know that what was done to me today will be relegating me to the wearing of baseball caps for the foreseeable future.
At least I look good in ball caps.
